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Warning:
	The fortunes contained in the fortune database have been
	collected haphazardly from a cacophony of sources, in number so
	huge it boggles the mind.  It is impossible to do any
	meaningful quality control on attributions, or lack thereof, or
	exactness of the quote.  Since this database is not used for
	profit, and since entire works are not published, it falls
	under fair use, as we understand it.  However, if any
	half-assed idiot decides to make a profit off of this, they
	will need to double check it all, and nobody not involved of
	such an effort makes any warranty that anything in the database
	bears any relation to the real world of literature, law, or
	other bizzarrity.

This file describes the format for fortunes in the database.  This is
done in detail to make it easier to keep track of things.  Any rule
given here may be broken to make a better joke.

[All examples are indented by one tab stop -- KCRCA]

Numbers should be given in parentheses, e.g.,

	(1)	Everything depends.
	(2)	Nothing is always.
	(3)	Everything is sometimes.

Attributions are two tab stops, followed by two hyphens, followed by a
space, followed by the attribution, and are *not* preceded by blank
lines.  Book, journal, movie, and all other titles are in quotes, e.g.,

	$100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become $100,000, at
	which time it will be worth absolutely nothing.
			-- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"

Attributions which do not fit on one (72 char) line should be continued
on a line which lines up below the first text of the attribution, e.g.,

			-- A very long attribution which might not fit on one
			   line, "Ken Arnold's Stupid Sayings"

Single paragraph fortunes are in left justified (non-indented)
paragraphs unless they fall into another category listed below (see
example above).  Longer fortunes should also be in left justified
paragraphs, but if this makes it too long, try indented paragraphs,
with indentations of either one tab stop or 5 chars.  Indentations of
less than 5 are too hard to read.

Laws have the title left justified and capitalized, followed by a
colon, with all the text of the law itself indented one tab stop,
initially capitalized, e.g.,

	A Law of Computer Programming:
		Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you
		will find the programmers cannot write in English.

Limericks are indented as follows, all lines capitalized:

	A computer, to print out a fact,
	Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
		But this output can be
		No more than debris,
	If the input was short of exact.

Accents precede the letter they are over, e.g., "`^He" for e with a
grave accent.  Underlining is done on a word-by-word basis, with the
underlines preceding the word, e.g., "__^H^Hhi ____^H^H^H^Hthere".

No fortune should run beyond 72 characters on a single line without
good justification (er, no pun intended).  And no right margin
justification, either.  Sorry.  For BSD people, there is a program
called "fmt" which can make this kind of formatting easier.

Definitions are given with the word or phrase left justified, followed
by the part of speech (if appropriate) and a colon.  The definition
starts indented by one tab stop, with subsequent lines left justified,
e.g.,

	Afternoon, n.:
		That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the
	morning.

Quotes are sometimes put around statements which are funnier or make
more sense if they are understood as being spoken, rather than written,
communication, e.g.,

	"All my friends and I are crazy.  That's the only thing that keeps us
	sane."

Ellipses are always surrounded by spaces, except when next to
punctuation, and are three dots long.

	"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
			-- Mark Twain

Human initials always have spaces after the periods, e.g, "P. T.
Barnum", not "P.T. Barnum".  However, "P.T.A.", not "P. T. A.".

All fortunes should be attributed, but if and only if they are original
with somebody.  Many people have said things that are folk sayings
(i.e., are common among the folk (i.e., us common slobs)).  There is
nothing wrong with this, of course, but such statements should not be
attributed to individuals who did not invent them.

Horoscopes should have the sign indented by one tab stop, followed by
the dates of the sign, with the text left justified below it, e.g.,

		AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
	You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive.  You lie
	a great deal.  On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and
	impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over and over
	again.  People think you are stupid.

Single quotes should not be used except as quotes within quotes.  Not
even single quotes masquerading as double quotes are to be used, e.g.,
don't say ``hi there'' or `hi there' or 'hi there', but "hi there".
However, you *can* say "I said, `hi there'".

A long poem or song can be ordered as follows in order to make it fit
on a screen (fortunes should be 19 lines or less if at all possible)
(numbers here are stanza numbers):

	11111111111111111111
	11111111111111111111
	11111111111111111111			22222222222222222222
	11111111111111111111			22222222222222222222
						22222222222222222222
	33333333333333333333			22222222222222222222
	33333333333333333333
	33333333333333333333			44444444444444444444
	33333333333333333333			44444444444444444444
						44444444444444444444
						44444444444444444444

Fortunes are split into potentially offensive and not potentially
offensive, into the files "obscene" and "scene", respectively.
Anything which would not make it onto network prime time programming
should *not* go into "scene".  Also, anything which would only get on
if some discredited kind of guy said it should *not* go in scene.
Fortunes containing "shit", "fuck", "cock" (not the male version of a
chicken, obviously, but the slang for penis), "cunt", "pussy", and such
like are "obscene".  Political opinions are supposed to be in
"obscene", too.  Anything which assumes as a world view blatantly
racist, mysogynist, or homophobic ideas should not be in either, since
they are not really funny unless *you* are racist, mysogynist, or
homophobic.

The point of this is that people have should have a reasonable
expectation that, should they just run "fortune", they will not be
offended.  We know that some people take offense at anything, but
normal people do have opinions, too, and have a right not to have their
sensibilities offended by a program which is supposed to be
entertaining.  People who run "fortune -o" or "fortune -a" are saying,
in effect, that they are willing to have their sensibilities tweaked.
However, they should not have their personal worth seriously (i.e., not
in jest) assaulted.  Jokes which depend for their humor on racist,
mysogynist (sexist), or homophobic stereotypes *do* seriously assault
individual personal worth, and in an general entertainment medium we
should be able to get by without it.
DataMuseum.dk

DKUUG/EUUG Conference tapes

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